Posts by life is to short

14

"I should have known" moments

by dubstepped in

i got ready for the meeting.

my wife did too.

we drove out to the kingdom hall and the closer we got the higher my anxiety would spike.

It was the same for me. My husband was an elder and we went to were the need was great for elders, than to Behtel, than back to our home congregation and each congregation I had some sort of anxiety causing problem plus severe depression. We pioneered in the first hall and it was hell. I was so depressed and tired all the time, so tired that it just came in waves and I would fall asleep if I was not moving.

At Bethel I would get major headaches at the meetings so bad that I felt like my head was going to explode, sick to my stomach, etc. When we came back to the hall here my heart would race at the meeting so bad that I thought I was going to pass out. The next hall anxiety attacks so bad where I could not breath. I would feel like I was chocking to death. I could not get any air in my lungs, if felt like I was dying. All the other problems only happened at the hall but this breathing problem started to happen all the time sometimes when I was driving I would have to pull over as I felt like I was going to pass out.

I still get that kind of anxiety when ever I run into a JW now but for the most part it has ended, I have never gotten a headache like I did in the hall while we were at Bethel since I left that hall, my heart never races,

On Friday, we were at Costco and we were talking to this sale's person about buying a product. This lady comes up who looks sort of familiar but I could not place her and we were right in the middle of giving the sales person our address and such and really, really not a good time while this lady just barges in and starts saying HI, I am like looking at her like we are kind of busy here and I really do not know who you are and could you wait a minute but no she processed to demand to know what congregation we go to now. It was than that I realized that she was a JW. I just thought how rude and tired to ignore her but I mumbled where I had attended and that satisfied her and she moved on.

After something like that I will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air feeling like I am chocking to death again.

I just wish I could have realized what my body was telling me so many years ago. It has been so horrible and I am so glad to be away. I feel so much better.

LITS

59

Sweet 16 - Happy Birthday to Us !

by Simon in

it's the forum's 16th birthday today!.

amazing that not only have we lasted so long but we're still thriving and growing.. thanks to all the people and often colorful characters who've contributed to the site over the years.

some are still here with us, some have since moved on, but all have touched each others lives in some way along our different journeys.. .

life is to short

Thank you also Simon this sight was a life saver for me. Thank you for all of your hard work and for all that you go through to kept this sight going, I know that it has helped so many like me.

I cannot say thank you enough.

LITS

55

Would you have married your spouse if you weren't both JWs?

by 3rdgen in

jw
friends

ok, i've had some wine, but i'm curious.

objectively speaking, but for the religion, did you have enough in common with your spouse to have met and married as non believers?

life is to short

I married my husband because I totally loved him but I wish that there had been per martial counseling, because I would not have went through with it. Love is not enough when it comes to this cult.

So much of the time I truly wonder if he loves me as the religion always came first in our marriage even in the most stupidest ways. If I did not feel well I still had to go to the meetings, I cannot even begin to count how many hours I spent sitting in the car waiting for him in elders meetings. God forbid that he take me home and of course no one in the hall would give me a ride home, even ones who lived close to us and since it was a county hall I just could not walk home as we lived 15 miles from the hall.

Not to mention money and work, he felt that Jehovah would give us what we needed and it might be just a slice of bread a day.

I look back on my life and think what a waste. I had not a clue what I was getting into.

LITS

15

On Prayer

by kairos in

jw
friends

so many prayers.. consuming.

the obligation.. when did you realize you were talking to yourself?.

life is to short

I always felt stupid, even when I was totally in. As a women it was worse if I ever had to pray in public such as if there was no brother meeting for service and you had to have a head covering. It was so stupid when you put a paper towel on your head.

I always felt like I was talking to myself and I tried and tired and tried to find something in the smallest thing to prove that Jehovah or God was listening and I got nothing.

I especially hated praying over food thanking God for giving it to us. I always wondered why? If God gave us our food that we worked for and would not have if we did not get up every morning and go to work, then why did not God give food to those in 3 world country's who were so poor and worked twice as hard as we do. Some people work 8 to 10 hours a day and don't have food, or if they do they give it to their children.

So does God love us in prosperous country's more? And if that is the case then why thank a God who treats half his children so horribly?

None of it ever truly made sense to me.

LITS

40

Closer/death/Funerals

by Leela1 in

hello all i am fairly new to this site even though i have been da since i was 16 years old i am now 35 years old.

i have had very little contact with my family since i left maybe a handful of times over the years.

i thought i put the past behind me and moved on i have 4 amazing kids of my own really supportive partner and great friends who have become my family.

life is to short

My heart just breaks for you. I come from a different background with my family but very similar to yours, I too have no one, expect my husband. I have tried to met with some of the elders who treated me horribly and it just brought back so much depression I wondered if it was worth it. I was just amazed at how cruel those men were, the one thing it did show me as an adult was how wrong and sick these men are.

I was trying to get my nerve up to go met with an elder last year who was one of the worst ones and he died suddenly of a heart attack. I just started crying and sobbing, I did not know I would react that way as this person really deeply hurt me and now I will never have a chance to ask why.

So on the one hand I say no because of the pain it would bring but on the other it leaves this whole in your heart as to why anyone would treat a child and young adult that way.

It is something you will have to live with and take care of yourself first, your mental health is the most important thing. I am just so sorry for your pain.

LITS

42

Trey Bundy: One Year of Reporting JW Child Abuse - Your comments please!

by AndersonsInfo in

http://watchtowerdocuments.org/trey-bundy-one-year-of-reporting-jw-child-abuse/.

trey bundy: one year of reporting jw child abuse.

it’s been one year since trey bundy first reported the watchtower’s child abuse problems.. twelve months ago the center for investigative reporting (cir) began publishing information about jehovah’s witnesses and their cover-up of child sexual abuse on their website, reveal.

life is to short

I just listened to another podcast and I am truly amazed at how wonderful it is.

I agree knowledge is power. Thank you again for doing such great work.

LITS

42

Trey Bundy: One Year of Reporting JW Child Abuse - Your comments please!

by AndersonsInfo in

http://watchtowerdocuments.org/trey-bundy-one-year-of-reporting-jw-child-abuse/.

trey bundy: one year of reporting jw child abuse.

it’s been one year since trey bundy first reported the watchtower’s child abuse problems.. twelve months ago the center for investigative reporting (cir) began publishing information about jehovah’s witnesses and their cover-up of child sexual abuse on their website, reveal.

life is to short

Thank you also for all you do, please keep reporting and please do not give up. It has been so frustrating to me that so many people do not care what happens to the children who are victims of these abusers who are keep hidden inside WT.

We need people like you who will speak out and let the world know. Thank you again.

LITS.

108

Leaked Elder's Video: How to deal with a suicidal sister

by cappytan in

this video will be played at one of the clam meetings in march 2016.. the content is kind of old news because it is a recut version of a previous video produced for the elder's school.

however, it's still significant because it shows that the organization still has dissenting brothers in positions of leadership.. my thanks to the leaker.

feel free to claim credit here.

life is to short

Yep that was how they dealt with me when I was so depressed that all I could think of was suicide. Pray more and take pedophiles out in service with you.

Seriously that is how they dealt with me, just pray more and go out in service more. This video just makes me crazy.

LITS

87

Did you get " Counseled " about the Music you Listened to While you were a JW ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

from the time i was a small boy - i loved rock n' roll music.

beatles, rolling stones, led zeppelin, hendrix.

i started getting slighted for the music i listened to as i lay in my bedroom listening on headphones to led zeppelin's song " black dog " at age 14 with my elder dad looking suspiciously at me as i'm rocking out .

life is to short

When I was single this MS who I babysat for came into my home and went through my records and found 1999 by Prince. OH MY GOD he just royally flipped out and made me feel like scum.

Oh how I wish I could have known he would become a JW. I would have said you mean I have to get rid of brother Prince.

Mostly I hide my music and didn't talk about it to anyone. I was also really tame. My parents were insane and forbid me to listen to any rock when Elvis died I was about 9 or 10 years old and I was watching TV they broke the show I was watching to say he had died. I did not have a clue who he was and went and asked my mom. She told me he was some crazy rock singer that we should not listen to.

Yeah the joys of growing up in the cult.

LITS

106

Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

by Sanchy in

jw
friends

warning of a long boring post ahead.

i feel like i need to vent my story out, as i feel quite helpless at the moment.. i'm 31 year old, married, father of toddler with another one on the way, due later this month.

i've been serving as elder for about 4 years now in a south florida congregation.

life is to short

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